Author's Note: I wasn't going to post this, but a friend found it melancholy, as if she saw a pain that never left, so I decided to post it. It's the longest poem I have ever written in my life. I don't expect you to figure out why I wrote this. If you know who this is for and why, I don't expect you to tell me. There is no game of guessing, no pretending, just the truth, the pure truth.
Written: 9/9/08
If I see him everyday,
my world tunes in to his gravity
If I fake my smiles,
he'll see what truly lies inside my eyes.
If I walk left,
he'll walk right.
We had a battle,
and I was left and lost the fight.
Last month, I realized the truth,
the scenes, the clues,
but now it maybe too late,
suddenly I think what do I have to lose?
Now I see everything that was deep in his heart.
As if I see through his eyes.
Now I see why he never fell apart.
I feel the pain, the tears, and the faith he gained.
Now it's silent stares and important talk.
He passes me like a ghost, right through me.
Now I await to see his smile,
and hope he still thinks of me, even if it's been a long while.
I talk about it as if the time span was fives years ago,
that is honestly how I feel, a winter that never passed.
I haven't forgotten the signs of an almost-snow that day.
Where everything started,
he wished we never parted.
I hear his call eight months late.
Tears still fall and I haven't been out of my heartbreak state.
For many days and many nights,
a heart spills out for a longing,a longing you will never know.
I wish you could know the way I feel.
I write silly love songs,
about a true love's past.
My memories haunt me,
combining the short time we had,
he had a hope that we would always last.
I now deserve this fate, the coldness you now give me,
I deserve the tears, the pain inflicted is now within me.
I don't know how to catch the silver lining,
through these dark gray skies.
I don't see it yet, but it's there in the clouds.
I take back all I've said and done.
I take it back until there is none.
My heart now unfrozen because,
he's left me a warm light.
He still portrays great strength as I remembered back then,
and with more faith than I can ever face.
With everything he does, it was with love and grace.
I call out his name in dreams, hoping he would hear.
I never reveal myself because I fear,
with what I did to him, he would runaway and I'd lose him forever.
Replaying moments that are now clear.
This is me now and no one else.
There is no hand warm enough to help me stand.
There are friends of mine, far away to reach.
He will forever be someone I once loved,
and even still love.
I can recall the day I met him and saying "hello."
A smile quite bright, it would put the sun to shame,
and when he interpreted my dreams,
he, the gentle fellow.
Forgive me, forgive me for I say this from the heart, crying out from within me.Ever since then, I always pray for your happiness, that you always stay content and yourself
forever and ever.
0 Comments
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
The Written Works
All
Archives
February 2015
|