All I hear are words
a facade of feelings inside
so used to hiding.
My own mind is spiraling,
to sounds of a past
so nostalgic,
I cannot come to terms with what was said.
Your voice still lingers on,
quotes on wisdom and strength,
configurations of the person
I once knew seem to pass me.
And I still sit here ashamed
on what I did,
I wander helplessly not knowing
what to do next.
If I could say the truth,
would you here me out?
Would you give me chance to explain,
and let me out?
If you could see me now,
I know the things you felt.
Don't turn your back on me now,
I have something to say.
Smiles, have they faded to frowns?
Am I Mrs. Cellophane,
can you see right through me now? (Am I that invisible?)
I have now seen your pain,
the distress that you went through a couple months ago.
It's inviting my heart to mend this up,
I'm not going to disappoint you now.
And still the same music brings me back to you.
I know now, I'll never get over this.
Let me hide these make-up smeared tears from you.
If I could say the truth,
would you forgive me?
If I could rewind,
I'd be the best you've ever had,
you'd be glad.
And I wouldn't disappoint you.
My dreams seem so vivid,
they somehow repeat itself.
In reality they seem to be
illusions in my head,
of what I want things to be.
Will these come true,
must I wait and see?
Here me out,
I want to speak the truth.
Sure we had some time
to forget about it.
But I can't let these feelings go,
you have to know,
what I really feel,
can't you spare a moment with me?
because the next time I speak with you
it might be too late for you to see,
the truth.
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Author's Note: To Fall. Red Ribbons float everywhere Author's Note: For those who run away. Author's Note: I wasn't going to post this, but a friend found it melancholy, as if she saw a pain that never left, so I decided to post it. It's the longest poem I have ever written in my life. I don't expect you to figure out why I wrote this. If you know who this is for and why, I don't expect you to tell me. There is no game of guessing, no pretending, just the truth, the pure truth. If I were to die today, Author's Note: I felt like writing about sewing and stitching. Inspiration sometimes comes out of nowhere and you write on... Author's Note: I wrote this, realizing signs that I missed of someone who cared and loved me, but I never knew until now. In this I wished someday he would let me into his heart once again and let me mend the pain I gave him and apologize for never knowing what he felt and never seeing what I really felt for him which was love the entire time. Surrounded by the media, especially where you live in place where the glitz and glamor appear 24/7, for a girl and even for a boy we find ourselves in the pressures of society, especially in appearance. I find males and females going to great heights just to look pretty or in this case prettier, I suppose just looking and being their self is not enough to impress a handsome face. When you realize it, it is hard to just accept yourself and like who you are, not unless you were born into the fact that just being you is the best thing, then you're blessed to know that kind of wisdom. As it is, it takes a while to understand the concept of "being you." You can change clothes, hair, the overall appearance, but would it still be you? The answer is: it's whether you changed yourself in the process of changing appearance. Lately, it's hard to fall asleep early. I find myself still awake in the wee hours of the morning. And just when I see light or at least dawn creeping through my window, I find it safe to sleep. I've been a night owl for too long, I'm in dire need of sleep. It's not that I'm afraid of the dark, it's the vivid dreams that keep me awake. Just one close of my eyes and suddenly I'm consumed in my own reality, my own world. They may be nightmares or pleasant dreams. I'm in no rush and I feel no worries of tomorrow, I just suddenly can't control my dreams. And unfortunately when it's a pleasant dream, I have to wake up to a harsh reality, it's like a stake to the heart that can't seem to heal anymore or something I have to re-live each day and never forget. When I dream it's like impossible meets possible as its supposed to be, right? However when a dream is as clear, as real as if you can really hold it in your hands and never let go, you can't stay asleep forever (even if you wish to). So when will I wake up to a horrible nightmare? When I'm awake physically...but not awake in my heart nor my mind. Doubtfully, I feel I don't have the strength as I thought I did. My heart can't bear it. |
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